Picky Prude asks:
I've been seeing this guy and it really bothers me that he doesn't use a flat sheet on his bed- only a comforter. Should I say something? I mean, I grew up that it was fitted sheet, flat sheet, thin blanket, comforter. What should I do?
Answer:
I am completely and utterly amazed that you could find a guy that wants to show you his bed. It sounds to me like you are a bit on the frigid side. Nonetheless, guys that live alone do not know proper bed making etiquette. They were all clearly raised in barns. Just be glad he doesn't sleep on a BARE mattress. Now that's just freakin' nasty. Namaste!
Miss Advice
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The Other Other Woman
The Other Other Woman asks:
Does your significant other have a 'work spouse'? If so how the hell do you handle it? Would you even allow it?
Answer:
(imagine this being performed by Mo'Nique circa her Oscar award winning portrayal of Precious' mother in the movie: Precious based on the novel Push by Sapphire)
Oh no she isn't!!! You lettin' some hussy move in on yo man! You need a go down to that office and snatch tha motha ******* weave off that ******* head cause she is tryna steal yo man! I would NOT allow some rat-faced girl to eye MY MAN. Do NOT allow that or they gonna be makin' you look tha fool!
Smack him upside the head for even playin' that wich you. He only got ONE wife and that piece a paper has YOUR name on it!
Your frin,
Miss Advice
Does your significant other have a 'work spouse'? If so how the hell do you handle it? Would you even allow it?
Answer:
(imagine this being performed by Mo'Nique circa her Oscar award winning portrayal of Precious' mother in the movie: Precious based on the novel Push by Sapphire)
Oh no she isn't!!! You lettin' some hussy move in on yo man! You need a go down to that office and snatch tha motha ******* weave off that ******* head cause she is tryna steal yo man! I would NOT allow some rat-faced girl to eye MY MAN. Do NOT allow that or they gonna be makin' you look tha fool!
Smack him upside the head for even playin' that wich you. He only got ONE wife and that piece a paper has YOUR name on it!
Your frin,
Miss Advice
Friday, May 21, 2010
Weedy Wife
Weedy Wife asks:
Dear Miss Advice,
Since my husband lost his job last year, we have been struggling to get by. His friend, a questionable character, has offered him a job selling pot. I'm worried that he will get mixed up with the wrong crowd, and that our family might eventually be put in harms way if a deal goes bad. What should I do? Should I put my foot down and say he shouldn't sell? We could use the money, but I'm not sure that the risks are worth it.
Yours truly,
Weedy Wife
Answer:
Think of it this way, it could be meth. And no one wants their house to blow up. I applaud your husband's willingness to provide for his family. He really seems to care about you guys and your well being. I hope he's a good salesman. Was his last job in the used car business? Tell him to google "pusher" and make sure he knows the best way to get his product out there. I suggest loitering outside of middle schools and high schools. He might also start up a cover business with a secret code for his pot.
Anyway, good luck to him- and to you- broken kneecaps can be quite painful and take awhile to heal.
Dear Miss Advice,
Since my husband lost his job last year, we have been struggling to get by. His friend, a questionable character, has offered him a job selling pot. I'm worried that he will get mixed up with the wrong crowd, and that our family might eventually be put in harms way if a deal goes bad. What should I do? Should I put my foot down and say he shouldn't sell? We could use the money, but I'm not sure that the risks are worth it.
Yours truly,
Weedy Wife
Answer:
Think of it this way, it could be meth. And no one wants their house to blow up. I applaud your husband's willingness to provide for his family. He really seems to care about you guys and your well being. I hope he's a good salesman. Was his last job in the used car business? Tell him to google "pusher" and make sure he knows the best way to get his product out there. I suggest loitering outside of middle schools and high schools. He might also start up a cover business with a secret code for his pot.
Anyway, good luck to him- and to you- broken kneecaps can be quite painful and take awhile to heal.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Bad Friend
Bad Friend asks:
My husband talks badly about my friend all the time and tries to make me think I can't trust her. What should I do? Should I pick my husband?
Answer:
Of course pick your husband! Women are completely subservient and should be dominated by men in every way shape and form. Who needs friends when you have a man in your life? Men are rocks, they are stability, they can do no wrong. So, absolutely tell your husband he is wonderful for suggesting such things about your friend and then get barefoot and pregnant and cook a feast for him!
My husband talks badly about my friend all the time and tries to make me think I can't trust her. What should I do? Should I pick my husband?
Answer:
Of course pick your husband! Women are completely subservient and should be dominated by men in every way shape and form. Who needs friends when you have a man in your life? Men are rocks, they are stability, they can do no wrong. So, absolutely tell your husband he is wonderful for suggesting such things about your friend and then get barefoot and pregnant and cook a feast for him!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Awesome Friend
Awesome friend asks:
My friend's boyfriend made an inappropriate comment to me on Facebook. Should I unfriend him?
Answer:
I would love to know what this inappropriate comment was! Was he hitting on you? Did he tell you off? These things make a difference.
Either way, the solution is simple. Get his phone number and ask him to meet you for drinks sometime. If he agrees, flirt with him, convince him to sleep with you and video tape it. Do this repeatedly for about 6 months and then provide all the videotapes to said friend. She will greatly appreciate how much effort you put into proving to her how unworthy he is and you will quickly become her BEST friend.
Hey, you might want to go ahead and post these videos on the internet just so that he is exposed for being a slimeball. I'm sure no one will think badly of you.
Miss Advice
My friend's boyfriend made an inappropriate comment to me on Facebook. Should I unfriend him?
Answer:
I would love to know what this inappropriate comment was! Was he hitting on you? Did he tell you off? These things make a difference.
Either way, the solution is simple. Get his phone number and ask him to meet you for drinks sometime. If he agrees, flirt with him, convince him to sleep with you and video tape it. Do this repeatedly for about 6 months and then provide all the videotapes to said friend. She will greatly appreciate how much effort you put into proving to her how unworthy he is and you will quickly become her BEST friend.
Hey, you might want to go ahead and post these videos on the internet just so that he is exposed for being a slimeball. I'm sure no one will think badly of you.
Miss Advice
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